You’ve no doubt heard the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” Throughout a lifetime, we receive hundreds of lemons. Believe it or not, how well you turn those lemons into lemonade could impact both your longevity and the quality of your life in later years.

Numerous studies indicate that resilient people tend to lead longer and healthier lives. What is resilience? It’s the ability to move through a time of stress without damaging either your mental or physical health. Says clinical psychologist and physical therapist Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, “The benefits of being resilient are many, including improved physical health, emotional health, problem solving, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Resilience in the face of catastrophe

When he was 16 years old, Dean Ragone of Haddonfield, N.J., dove into a swimming pool and broke his neck. Initially paralyzed, over time Ragone regained the use of his arms but has mostly been confined to a wheelchair. It was particularly difficult in the 1970s when Ragone had his accident because as he puts it, “maybe 10% of buildings were accessible back then and medical technology was no where near what it is today.”

Young and athletic, suddenly Ragone had a decision to make. “I could get on with my life and make something of myself,” he says. “Or I could take the other path and go into a nursing home at the age of 16 and be supported for the rest of my life.”

Ragone chose the former. Now in his 50s he says that despite his early setback he’s met or exceeded his goals and feels blessed to have lived the life he’s lived so far. As he gets older, he feels perhaps more prepared to deal with some of the difficult challenges that lie ahead of him because he knows he can. “Everyone has choices in life,” he says. “It’s how you want to live.”

As the president and CEO of allRisk, Inc., experts in property damage restoration, Ragone says his clients face terrible challenges as they face rebuilding after devastating fires or other catastrophes. His advice in the face of adversity, “In life there are a lot of obstacles. It’s all about how you approach them and how you overcome them. The only real obstacles you have are the ones inside your head.”

Resilient aging

By the time people reach their later years, they have overcome countless obstacles—personally, professionally, and perhaps even physically. But while everyone expects to grow older, the challenges of aging are often the hardest to accept. How to spend your time after retirement, or how to deal with diminished physical abilities and health issues, can confound even the most resilient among us.

Such was the case with Dr. Lloyd Stewart, who describes himself as “chronically employed.” For more than 50 years, Stewart was a well-respected psychiatrist in Baltimore, Md. When Stewart accidently drove into a tree, he says it was a wake up call. “I didn’t want to stop working,” he says. The only thing injured in the accident was his pride and it wasn’t long after the incident that he stopped driving and reluctantly retired.

Stewart’s daughter-in-law suggested he find a better living situation as well. She wanted him in a friendlier environment, where transportation would not be an issue. Stewart surveyed the local retirement communities and decided that Charlestown, in Catonsville, Md., was the place for him.

Soon after moving in, Stewart paid a visit to Sherry Parrish, director of resident life at Charlestown. Describing their first meeting, Parrish says, “A sad, forlorn, dejected, without purpose, but very handsome man walked into my office and introduced himself. We talked and he says, ‘I have nothing to do.’”

In a very short period of time, Parrish was able to hone in on Stewart’s affable nature and ease with conversation. “You need to be in the television studio,” she told him and suggested he visit Charlestown’s on-site community TV station. The station put Stewart on its weekly interview program.

“All of the skills he developed over the span of his career,” says Parrish, “he needs now and uses now.” That new assignment was just was Stewart needed to kick start his life, and it should come as no surprise the man he is today is anything but forlorn or without purpose.

Resilient as Stewart is, he misses working and driving. “I would love to still be able to do many of the things I did before,” says Stewart. “However, I like what I’m doing now and I never thought I would say that.” Moving through a challenge and finding new ways to stay engaged and vibrant is what being resilient is all about.

How do you do it?

Clinical psychologist, physical therapist, and author of the new book A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo shares these recommendations with her clients:

Practice gratitude: Don’t focus on what is wrong, concentrate on what is right—the people, events, experiences, and tangible items you have in your life right now. Write out three to five things/people you appreciate every day to keep yourself on track.
Remember: You can’t control external circumstances but can always control your reactions.
Keep things in perspective: Try not to fortune tell (predict the future negatively) or be a “catastrophist” (make a mountain out of a molehill).
Practice realistic optimism: Find the true positive in whatever happens. For example, if a loved one become ill, it makes sense to be sad and also enjoy the time you have in the here and now.
Take care of yourself: Get proper sleep, nutrition, exercise, and downtime to function optimally. Exhaustion, hunger, and stress lead to negative thinking.
Do something fun: Start a hobby, take a class, join a club…find ways to apply your values and strengths.  This will decrease stress, give you more happiness, and helps keep things in perspective.
Reach out: Get support from friends and offer support to others. Helping others helps you become more resilient.